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  • Writer's pictureBrooke Miller

Giving Fear the Finger

Updated: Sep 24, 2021

I have a Nervous Nellie voice in my head. She's not the LOUDEST voice, but she's the FASTEST. She's always the first to chime in, especially when money and visibility are the topic at hand. And she loves to repeat herself. She gives me that shot of adrenaline that sets me automatically into scanning & preparation mode: scanning for threat and preparing for WCS (worst case scenario).

Here's a recent example of how something paid off HUGE for me when I was able to PIVOT AWAY from Nervous Nellie: a networking opportunity came through my inbox which I immediately told myself "No, too big, too scary." ( - AAAAAMAZING!!!)

There were practical reasons not to go also -- I had just invested in 2 coaching programs; the event was only 3 weeks away, and it was all the way in New York (I live in Oregon).

...but.... something in me was drawn to the idea of attending the 3-day seminar on branding, marketing and media exposure. Somehow I could easily see myself at the media mixer that was planned for the 2nd evening of the event.

Plus, I love adventures. :) But as much as I love them, adventures are a BIG trigger for Nellie; she wastes no time & is the first to jump in:

"What if the plane crashes and you leave Penelope motherless?"

"What if you get killed in New York?"

"What if you go and you don't fit in? or what if you spend $8K and don't get anything out of it?"

And besides...

"How would you even pay for it?? You just maxed out 2 credit cards!!"

She had a good point with that last one, however my compassionate coach piped up with a reminder that "When you make a decision to pursue your dream, you have to be open to saying "Yes" to the opportunities that show up." This side of me knows and understands 100% that we literally have to FORCE ourselves to choose differently to create the results and the life we want.

So I decided to go for it.

Halfheartedly at first...

I found a way to give a half-yes; a way to satisfy my need to try, yet also play it safe because Nellie was getting right up in there and she uses pictures too, flashing them onto the movie screen in my mind. I thought "I'll complete the application, make contact & get on their radar, then I will jump into the next event, 6 months from now, or maybe next year..." My habit of procrastinating into Somedayland satisfied Nellie and she quieted down.

Long story short, I followed the voice of my compassionate coach and took things as they unfolded; when decision time came, I said "Yes!" without even knowing how I would pay for it. I felt scared and excited.

And you know what??

Everything fell into place. Easily.

I found a way to pay for the event, the travel and the time off work.

I got to connect with AMAZING people and now I get to stay in touch and build cooperative relationships with them. Eeeeee!

The plane didn't crash.

I didn't die in New York.

In fact, the opposite was true -- I felt very ALIVE in New York. I could FEEL the extra bounce in my step! And all I did was simply FOLLOW my innermost wisdom, take that LEAP of faith and TRUST that all would unfold as needed... and that's exactly what happened.

The Result?

I now have more than a dozen new business and media contacts to build relationships with across the country.

I have a goal and a strategy to blow up my business through media placements.

My daughter gets to have a mom who shows her how to live fully and expansively and to follow her dreams No Matter What.

And... in New York, I reconnected with my most Empowered Self and returned with a little more grit and determination from the city that never sleeps. I now have a new tool in my Life Kit. The next time a Big Scary Opportunity comes along and I just want to shrivel up and hide, I'm going to remind myself of my beautiful, amazing, incredible, expansive, safe, fun, free, enlightening time in New York, and I'm going to give fear the finger.

Here's me on top of Yotel in Midtown Manhattan!

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