Resilience is something we all want to have but no one wants to earn. That's because it's not fun developing resilience. In fact, it's the opposite of fun, the opposite of pleasant and the opposite of comfortable. We humans, being creatures of habit and comfort, naturally resist anything that would develop resilience.
Think of the beautiful butterfly. In the struggle to break out of the chrysalis, the butterfly writhes and squirms; this pushes fluid out of it's body into it's wings and strengthens them for flight. If we were to "help" the butterfly by carefully cutting open the cocoon, it's wings would not develop. The butterfly would never be able to fly and it would die. The struggle is the key to it's transformation.
And so it is.
On the human plane, resilience often is borne out of surviving bad situations that we did not consciously choose to create. Bankruptcy, a divorce, a difficult childhood come to mind as examples, but there are an infinite number of life situations big and small that can build our resilience. We may not have planned on finding ourselves here, but regardless, here we are.
That's how life works. So often we get what we need, not what we want.
Of course, resilience can come from unconsciously doing the right things when we find ourselves facing difficult circumstances, but wouldn't it be preferable to make conscious choices with resilience as the goal? When we are in the midst of the mess, feeling lost, alone and afraid, we can pause and take the 30,000 foot view. We can try to see the BIGGER picture by asking, What is this experience teaching me? Where do I need to grow? What is the lesson here?
If you're going through Hell, keep going...
When we pause, get calm and center ourselves, we can change our point of view. When we change our point of view, we see AND FEEL things differently. Life is our greatest teacher. If we can be willing to let go of resisting what IS, and avail ourselves to doing what needs to be done regardless of our comfort, resilience is the prize.
When times get tough, keep your eye on the prize.